I was recently asked to take over the worship at our Women’s Bible study. It was unexpected and I don’t feel adequate; my “specialty” is singing harmony, not leading, but a part of the background. But I am learning that just means the Lord gets to shine through my weaknesses. Also, I’m learning how important worship is. Worshipping God will be our primary occupation in Heaven; so it’s no wonder that He wants us to practice here on Earth.
I was blessed to belong to a number of singing groups, some Christian & some not, from an early age. Most recently I’ve been on worship teams for the last three churches I’ve attended & sang for 15 years in a women’s barbershop chorus. So I do have some background & experience in music in general. My feelings of not being worthy are probably just that: feelings. I’m being grown in the area of Worship, which has long been one of my passions. I’m also stretching my faith muscles. If this is where God wants me right now, I have to trust that He knows what He’s doing. Put that way, it becomes a no brainer, doesn’t it?
What can we do when feelings of nadequacy & fear grip us? First of all, realize that feelings are not facts. Fear is not of God. Nor should we be looking within ourselves for strength or confidence, but to Him.
As a popular song of a few years ago states, “Fear is a liar!” And who is the father of lies? Our old enemy, satan, bears that title. He has many, many years of experience at playing with & manipulating our feelings & fear is probably his favorite! (BTW, I recommend listening to the song, Fear is a Liar, Zach Williams).
If, like me, you think you don’t belong in the position being offered, step out in faith. Give it a shot; do your best. Tell fear no! If you truly shouldn’t be there, God will raise up the person who does, probably fairly quickly. Use the opportunity, in the meantime, to build your faith in God. You might just surprise yourself; I know I am! I may not do as good a job as the person before me did, but I’m doing it as best as I can. I’ve had no complaints so far.
The week before I was supposed to lead worship the first time, the enemy stepped it up a notch & I caught a cold, which became pneumonia. That in turn triggered asthma & I suddenly realized I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom. I just couldn’t breathe without oxygen, which fortunately I have for use with my C-PAP machine. But it wasn’t set up so I could walk around. So, Iended up spending 8 days in the hospital.
The day of my “debut,” the following happened. I needed to make copies of the words, so planned to do them at a copy shop near where we meet. Probably because of Covid, they were closed already at 6p. And when I was about to text the pianist who had promised to play the music & ask her to meet me a half hour before time, instead of only 15 minutes, she suddenly texted me. She said she’d just been asked to do 32 songs for an outreach & needed the Bible study time for rehearsing. Since she was the only performer I had, & I don’t play an instrument, I nearly decided to skip worship. Then I remembered using pre-recorded music at a home Bible study years ago.
Spotify no longer gives you the option to play your playlist as set up & now they are actually adding songs to your lists! I’m sorry, but Lonestar’s Let Them be Little is not worship music, lol! So I turned to YouTube. We had listen to a couple of short ads, but we worshipped! So far we’re still doing it that way. But, boy, I did not feel ready to lead the worship that night!
I still don’t feel like it’s my.forté, but I am able to do it, just like I can facilitate the Bible study (a story in itself) if asked to do so. And I enjoy choosing the music that sets the tone for the study. It’s got me listening to worship music more often, too. Unlike the enemy’s lies, I haven’t embarrassed myself yet. And if I were to mess up, these ladies love me & that’s the place to do it! We’ve supported each other through some very hard times, attended numerous retreats fogether; we’re truly family. Unlike my physical family, they can minister to me, just like I’m ministering to them.
So don’t let the enemy stop you from trying out new things. And call him on it when he tries to make you afraid. I’m not saying be reckless, but don’t let your feelings rob you of growth opportunities. The fact that some of the women in our study group like my voice doesn’t make me a worship leader, but that didn’t keep me from trying & I’m doing it. Heck, I can’t even read music! What can you do to let Jesus shine through your weaknesses?